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Maybe Russ will sign up for your triple play

For years now, my Verizon bill has been coming to “Russ Rubin.” Being a sporting guy, I paid for his phone service; yeah, he doesn’t chip in on the electricity, but he mostly keeps to himself. I hardly ever see him, in fact. But, hey, enough is enough, and the last time I was on Verizon’s site, I took advantage of the handy e-mail form to request the long-overdue name change. The e-mailed reply:

I have placed an order to correct your first name to ROSS, confirmation number xxxxxxxx. It may take 1-2 billing cycles for you to see the correct spelling.

Only two months to change one letter, eh? Wow. Using FiOS to send that request? Good thing I wasn’t changing it to Roscommon.